I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
