Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the day after is always just damage control
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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