if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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