shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
