Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
