all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
