Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
