it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
