Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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