idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
