marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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