Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
