nut hugger
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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