I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She said her name was "party"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
