don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
