I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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