BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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