I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
