Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
