how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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