And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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