She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
