i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
