I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
