I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
