I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
