the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
