If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
