Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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