did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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