Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
