btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
