Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
