Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
