I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
