i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
