There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
