Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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