Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
