There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
