you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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