I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
