She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
