The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
