Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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