i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
