She's JV to your varsity
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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