Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
