I love black thongs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There was a lot of him and a little penis
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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