I'm jealous of your bromance
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
