She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
