I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
