i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
