Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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