What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
